We met in The Foot Fist Way, but I had a boyfriend back then. I saw you again in Tropic Thunder, but I thought we'd just be friends, because back in Tropic Thunder I was still crushing on Steve Coogan.
But then you stole every scene in Pineapple Express, and singlehandedly kept me from being disappointed in a movie I was extremely excited to see, and now that you've just blown my mind with the best premium cable comedy to ever be on premium cable, I really want to end the heretofore platonic nature of our relationship.
I know, Danny. You are just going to say that Clover pretty much universally likes chubby comedy dudes. And yes, I've loved a fat funny dude before, almost sociopathically I love fat funny dudes, but you are special. You make humilition so hilarious and comedy so tragic. There have been similar dudes before you, but I have never felt so sad and pants-pissy all at once. It's next level type shit. You are a master of the very essence of comedy, and I am in awe of you.
If by any chance you walk around LA in such devastatingly appealing clothing as hoodies and converse, I will probably just marry you or rape you on the spot. Or both. I feel like we possibly live near each other, so FYI, I drink a lot at the Griffin. And Sgt. Recruiter. And El Prado. And the El Torito in Santa Monica. Okay, I just drink a lot. Let's meet up.
xoxo,
Clover
[photo credit:Jeff Kravitz/filmmagic.com]
13 comments:
how fucking amazing is this post. Really funny all the way. Hope you get a chance to rape the dude someday.
I love kenny fucking powers
The most heart-warming love letter I have ever read!
I hope he finds this when/if he ever Googles his name.
Oh, hands off, woman! Kenny Powers is MINE!!! I've already had to fight BWP for him!
is Jason segel considered fat? well he is mine
So to truly be the object of your lust, I have to put on like 50 pounds, huh?
El torito in santa monica? And you never call?!??!
In other news, Danny McBride is a cool dude. If I had known your love for him I would have had a better in than, "I know someone else named Danny Mcbride, weird."
fail.
G- I will love you until the day you tell me that you have a crush on Larry the Cable Guy.
You know in hipster land USA (Bushwick/Bed/Stuy), chubby chic is rapidly eclipsing heroin chic. Seriously, in Brooklyn, bacon (the food) is the new Radiohead. I know you know exactly what I mean by that.
Thug Life.
Beautiful!
when i saw Foot Fist Way, i laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes.
lol ...so fucking great.
LOVE him!!
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