UhyeahIguessIforgot.
So, before anything else, I should announce that I like going to my storage unit. I didn't at first because it made me all sad in the heart about the Laurel Canyon Incident of '08, and I felt like my stuff was giving me stink eye for leaving it in the Valley, but now I like it, and my stuff has been deprived of me long enough where now it's just happy to see me.
I find the distinctly weird odor plaguing the halls of Public Storage familiar and oddly comforting. Since I left the LC in November I go once every couple weeks, and at some point in this journey became consumed with warm fuzzies towards that crappy cement block. I feel equal parts nostalgic and happy to see my things, and shocked and confused that I have schlepped some of this crapola around since I lived in New York. I assure my belongings that we'll be together again soon in a beautiful, magical place, and it's kind of a special moment.
(Is this sounding creepy yet? I HOPE SO.)
Anyway, I went today to do some clothes clearing for an upcoming clothing swap, (clothing swaps are the new shopping and I won't hear otherwise) but I could probably get rid of half of my wardrobe and not even notice. (Does anyone else out there wear the same five things over and over?)
And I don't know if I am competing with a goldfish for the worst short term memory in a living being, but I am always surprised to learn about some of the things I own. How could something I loved so much at one time become so irrelevant and unimportant to my hippocampus? (This statement was actually mainly about people. Sorry, people I've forgotten.)
So, I culled some of my favorites to share with you, though it turns out I could fill a yearbook with ironic tees. Maybe I will make a coffee table art book of them. A Clover Coffee Table Art Book is coming one of these days. Please believe.
Without further ado and whatnot:
Ironic Myspace Ringer Tee!
My friend Erik made these at the height of Myspace Mania and because of the crowd he runs with (not me, I swear!) I think Mickey Avalon and Cisco Adler were also rocking these, which is a seriously terrible endorsement. Clover is guilty of hipster irony in the first degree.
Ironic 80's Shirt!
Oh, hey gang. Do you like my hot pink, Cheap Trick-ish hipster tee? I wore this out last night with sequined hot pants, fishnet anklets and purposefully clashing red stilettos, then I found pictures of myself this morning on Last Night's Party making out with twenty-one year old gay boys and I SO don't remember any of it.
Ironic "I'm from Georgia" Shirt!
Hey y'all. I'm from Georgia, even though I look like I hold court in the LES. Whatever. I'm just here to say somethin' real funny about peaches and boobs. Y'all git it?
And the piece de resistance:
Ironic Lifestyle Shirt!
Okay, this one is particularly special to me. It is soft, it carries a bold message and comes complete with ironic detailing. It totally looks like one of those stitched things in ovals, right? What are those called? Oh, who cares.
Anyway, I love this last shirt and it is one of my favorite vintage finds, but I never wear it (I've only worn it, like, twice), because I actually don't hate housework. Recently I did a massive overhaul on my friend's room and I almost exploded into bleach bubbles of excitement when we could finally see his floor so I could clean it. Then I had a full-on Swiffergasm when I discovered that his roommate bought this Swiffer that has the soapy water stuff squirting out of it. Luckily I don't get embarrassed about acting stupid when clean floors are at stake.
So what do I do with this shirt that is so fantastic but more ironic than even I choose to be? I would like to give it to someone who would actually wear it. Are there any female readers that can fully rock this? Yes, even in my poverty, Clover is feeling generous and will snail mail it. I will generously send this to you, but you have to genuinely hate housework, and then post a picture of yourself in it on yer blog and give a shout out to me.
Whatever. I'm not that generous.
12 comments:
This was a total hipster way to get men to look at your chest in a more classy way than wearing nothing, I say bravo to you my friend.
Bravo indeed.
If not, well, I guess I just became creepy.
This was a lose lose comment.
We still have Brentwood Country Mart.
Virtually.
Oh come ON. Wouldn't it be more ironic for an obviously sedated me to be wearing said shirt as I do lots of homework that my shrink, my boyfriend and my pills tell me isn't that bad? And ergo - more hipstery? Those bitches love irony. PS- I'm just going to start yelling out "surrender!" to people willy nilly. Then maybe touching their necks.
I hate housework but I also only wear black (or dark gray if I'm feeling cheerful.)
Also, I think it's very European to wear the same thing over and over. Eurotrash chicks always look sexy, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that they put together one fantastic outfit and then wear it for the next eight days straight.
G- I was expecting a cameo appearance from the T-shirt with the iron on decals that said, "HANG THE DJ!"
At least you can brag that you were part of the hipster movement version 1.0
I too, am guilty of similar offenses. In '99-'00 I used to rock a tight ringer with "Brooklyn" emblazoned on the chest, and we both know that I would never deign to reside in Brooklyn.
Oh god the Georgia one is terrible.
But I do like the last one. And what? Nothing for the men?
you have such nice breasts, the perfect sexy t-shirt kind of breasts, I want them
rs27- hipsters want people to look at their boobs, too. (BRENTWOOD COUNTRY MART!)
miel- i will send you the shirt just so i can see a picture of you in it. and i second the motion of shouting "surrender" and doing the neck touch thing randomly. we'll be the surrender ninja task force.
racquel- i feel like there are some halifax "hipsters" that also wear the same thing for days on end.
ho- the self-made hang the dj shirt! i totally forgot about that one. WOW. i am done with the debating and am now a card-carrying member of the hipster community. on a sad note, i totally forgot about that shirt and think i threw it out when i realized i hated DJs. (okay, i don't.) but now i'm mourning that shirt when i'd totally forgotten about it. i'll have to make another one.
surviving- the men get their rooms cleaned! by me! isn't that enough? and whatever, you like that georgia shirt.
chele- you should see them unsheathed! someday!!
I totally love housework and my peaches are not as delectable as yours, so that shirt and I would not be besties. But I think it's sweet and fun.
Here's how my wardrobe works: I put together a completely random outfit from things I find in the back of my closet. I wear it every single day for three weeks. My friends threaten to stop speaking to me. I dig through the back of my closet, am amazed at the items I own that I've 100% forgotten, I create a new outfit, and wear it for three weeks straight.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
You are not alone. (Please sing that Michael-Jackson-style in your head.)
p.s. My word vertification is 'promit' which I now decree to mean, "vomiting like it's prom night". Pass it on.
I will DEFINITELY rock that shirt. You should see my bathroom... I clearly hate housework. Picture and shout-out would totally be accomplished, too.
Also, I totally agree with Racquel's theory on Euro chicks... you are so right, love!
I hate housework so much that my boyfriend and I are in a fight over who is doing the dishes. They haven't been done for over 2 weeks because we are both stubborn as shit. I hate housework sooo much, my dog runs around with poop on him and I debate not cleaning him up!
I wish my boyfriend would get a swiffergasm. I must be doing it wrong.
i hate myself sooooo much for just reading this post now.
i NEED that shirt.
if you still have it, i will trade you for something equally awesome
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