Baja Infierno

So spending most of my waking life reading other blogs I learn a lot about Blog Protocol and things that Bloggers do. Mostly things like how you all like to post lists of random You Facts, and how you interview each other with impressively random questions (If you had to, would prefer to club a baby seal or a baby panda?)

And then I get my mind blown when I see that people GUEST BLOG and then I am still trying to figure out what a meme is. I keep getting it confused with meta, but as far as I can tell the concepts are interchangeable. And then there are the awards. (I feel like this is kind of like when you win a trophy on Rock Band 2. Earlier this week I won a Best Singing Trophy at the Heebie Jeebie's venue in New York. Like, it's kind of cool I guess, but does it really hold out there in the Real World? Not like the Real World and I are BFFs, but you know what I mean.) Anyway, I guess what I'm saying, is much like most things, I just can't care that much. And much like everything else, I always think I have strong levels of caring, but then I see how much more everyone else does, and I realize I kinda don't. But I envy you, you the carers and the daily posters. You live life in a way I only sort of dream of.

But ANYSORRYFORBORINGANDOFFENDINGYOU, today I am going to continue boring entertaining you with a Random Fact Story about myself. (A list of ten or twenty-five is just too many to conceive of.)

So I am obsessed with the Baja Fresh Salsa Bar. More specifically I am obsessed with the Baja Fresh Stab-Yourself-In-The-Face-To-Make-The-Burning-Stop Red Hot Salsa at the Baja Fresh Salsa Bar.



Now I am no salsa snob. If there is a fried chip and a red salsa-like substance, I will immediately ladle and inhale it. But if it makes you cry from its fiery glory then I will like you more. This past week however the Baja Fresh Red Face-Paralyzing Salsa obsession has gotten out of control.

For those of you that don't have this glorious chain in your state, Baja Fresh is the "healthy" Mexican food chain, which is a hundred times more expensive than street Mexican food or El Pollo Loco, but when you live in LA you eat Mexican food fives times a week for dinner and three times a week for lunch, so you have to mix Baja Fresh in, so you don't feel so guilty that eighty percent of your diet is fried in lard.

And while Baja Fresh is no bargain (or ganga, as we used to say in the AP Spanish), the Salsa Bar is free. Flanking the salsa bar are these little containers and you fill them up with a melange of mild to hot salsas. Now on Saturday, when the obsession decided to take over my life, I went with Leah to an art opening in Culver City and I consumed about a bottle of red wine (Because at art openings the red wine is Free. As in, "¡Que Ganga!") So after this red wine opening, I mean, art opening, I decided that the only way to make Saturday night better would be to raid the Baja Fresh on Sawtelle of its Face Melting Salsa. Normally I get two or three because I don't want to look like a homeless person with a Taste Bud Death Wish, but, in case you aren't aware, excessive consumption of red wine liberates you, and you will henceforth have no qualms about leaving with six or seven or twelve containers. I'm sure I looked very glamourous filling container after container up for twenty minutes.

I then spent Sunday watching Vh1 and drinking the salsa straight from the container. (Leah: Oh, girl. That much of that salsa is messed up.) and by Monday I was almost out. So I went back to Baja Fresh Monday night, but not drinking on the school nights and all, I left with a tame five containers, allowing my self-consciousness to rule me, which is weak, people.

And that's when I decided to begin having the Tongue Melting Salsa Elixir for breakfast. Like I would wake up at 8:30am, actively look at the granola, and then go directly to the fridge to consume this En Fuego Salsa like it's orange juice. Individuals. I have problems.

Now it is Thursday and I am totally out and having the shakes and what not, so if you are looking for me, I will be at one of my Baja Fresh locations burying my face in the vat of Red Salsa For People That Hate Feeling Good In The Face. It will be a proud moment.

Okay, that's all for today.

Except for I would like to say that I am going to attempt to Vlog for you all very soon, since my endlessly generous mom sent me a way better memory card for my digital camera, and now you can hear what a ding-dong I sound like when I speak words and not just write them, but please don't laugh or judge me too harshly because I am kind of sensitive and am only doing this to bring us closer.