Knee High Friday: Fruit Stripe

Knee High Sock Style Tip of the Day: Make sure to pepper your knee high sock collection with bold, basic colors so you can pair them with kicky, stripey heels.



You weren't expecting Halloween socks, were you? That would make me feel like a preschool teacher. Happy Halloween, y'all.

Twitterpated

I am not a fan of Twitter. As you all know I am a huge proponent of narcissism and posting pointless information about myself on the internet, but Twitter really takes these elements to another level. A level I cannot endorse. It's the kind of "adorable" "minutiae" I would glibly and cheekily text the boy I have a crush on, but instead of privately texting the person you like, you're essentially texting perfect strangers the play-by-play of everylittlething in your life and asking them to "follow" you in this malarkey and there's really no dignity involved on anyone's part. Just say no.

That said (for purposes of consolidation here only), here is the Twitter-like recap of my weekend!!!!

Today is day fifty of the worst eye allergy in history. I might have to abandon Laurel Canyon because I can't look like a meth head suffering from progeria any longer. It's like being allergic to hay and living in a barn.
Friday, October 24th, 9:00am

What is Perez Hilton doing at the downtown rehearsal space? Why am I the only one that didn't recognize him? Btw, thx band for making such a fuss over it that I walked into the VERY CLOSED elevator door, right in front of him and his friends. Wasn't embarrassing at all. Nor did I bruise my knee.
Friday, October 24th, 11:45pm

I officially have a crush on someone.
Saturday, October 25th, 10:45pm

This is the second night in a row I've gotten fast food after midnight. Drive thru, cheap-ness and fried-ness. Why have I been such a snob for so long? I'm not sure if this development counts as progress, but if Jack in the Box is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Sunday, October 26th, 1:45am

Eye allergy is seriously getting in the way of freelance writing. Please God, send me a job where I never have to open my eyes.
Monday, October 27th, 8:05am

Knee High Friday: School's in

Dear LA,

School has started. It's almost November. Can you please make things less insufferably hot? I'm prancing around in my schoolgirl finest to remind you how things are supposed to go down in the autumnal seasons. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

Kthx.
xoxo, Clover



Pink and green is most my favorite color combination. Life update to come over the weekend.

Knee High Friday: Be A Bad Ass

Today's Sock of the Week is NINJAS.

Getting ninja-like in my Marc Jacobs pumps.

I'm feeling like a bad ass these days and I hope you all are, too.

In other Bad Ass news, I am proud to say I am back at TVgasm with the Pick Up Artist 2 and completed my recap in record time. Flipit doubted me, I doubted me. But it actually did happen and I'm happy to be back over there after my summer break. So thank you, Mark Rivers, for bailing on our awesome plans last night. I never would have finished (or started) it otherwise. And now we're even.

The Other Gina

An email seriously insulting my "Young Hot and Free Forever" policy arrived in my inbox last week.

I know people out there have kids and love them and go to birthday parties with lots of other people's kids and they find their lives very meaningful. Until recently I was a nanny, I know this firsthand. But I am not one of them. Truth be told, I'm not the most maternal individual and getting out of the nannying world, I'm embracing this fact yet again. I didn't play with dolls growing up. I asked my mom if we could return my younger brother when he was born. (Which I'm totally glad we didn't, T!! Loves you!!!) My mom once said a few years ago that at least she had said younger brother to count on for grandkids. That said, I was a good nanny and the kids I nannied where all good eggs. It's just not my natural state of being and over time, watching children sucked the life of me.

And okay, I do admit that one day I will most likely succumb to domesticity and procreation, but in my current life it sounds like a totally grim prospect. So when I got an email from a mom in Central Florida confusing me with someone who would a) live in Central Florida b) have kids, I got salty. Usually I try to keep the bitchiness to bitch face, but I got so consumed with her knowing that I would NEVER live in the Orlando area and AM SO NOT about to change my lifestyle to include Saturday morning Gymborees, I had to respond.

Hi Gina,

How are you? Here is a copy of the invitation. It’s nice that you could make it. Michelle said that it’s so much fun for the kids. The website for the place is www.bigbouncefunzone.com We’ll see you there and give you the waiver to be signed before the kids can play. It starts at 10am.

Please call me if you need directions.

Take care and see you on Saturday.

D****


I cringed at her words. I was sure that even if I had kids she would be the kind of mom I wouldn't want to be friends with. I mean, what do you do if you have kids and you don't like any of the parents?? Who do you hang out with? This email stressed me out. I had to distance myself as much as possible.

hi d****,

i am a single girl in los angeles and, as far as i know, have no children.

maybe in a parallel universe i am a mom in central florida, but in this one, you have the wrong person.

happy birthday to alexa.
best, gina

I am so so grateful I am not a mom in Orlando, y'all. Like OMG grateful. But I do wish I weren't so judgmental of people who are into that sort of thing. Sorry, random mom, for thinking my life is so much better than yours. Can't help it!!

Stay tuned for next week when I accidently get knocked up and decide to move to Orlando.

Welcome to Knee High Friday!

I thought it was about time for a weekly installment chez Sensation.

I acquired three new pairs of knee high socks yesterday, adding to my already impressive, ever expanding collection. And it was then I realized I can no longer keep this prized menagerie to myself. It's time to share the colorful glory and girlish bounty with you!

To know me is to know that I wear knee high socks. Always. Even when it is 900 degrees out (and it has been lately) and even when they are hidden to the naked eye under various garments and boots (and they usually are). And this is a shame, because they are magical, beautiful things, deserving of their day in the sun. I also know more than anything, you, gentle readers, want to know everything you can possibly know about me. This is understandable. And if there is one thing you should know, it's that I live and die for knee high socks.

Thus, Knee High Friday is born.

First up: Unicorns! Y'all know I love me some unicorns.

Purple, regal mythical creatures resting atop a pillowy, cotton candy sheepskin. If this isn't a sign that the weekend is going to be great, I don't know what is.

Stay tuned for next week when I decide between robots and killer teddy bears.

Looking at the world through 70's Earth Toned Glasses

So one Ex dropped the birthday ball, but another Ex (the one I refer to a lot on this blog) totally didn't drop the ball. Or threw it really well. Or whatever ball metaphor is the opposite in this instance. (And yes, I hang out all the time with my Ex-Boyfriends. I'm likable. Sue me.)

While in New Mexico this summer, I discovered what many people who've been watching informercials since the 80s have long known. That Blublocker Sunglasses (As Seen On TV) are the Best Sunglasses Ever. The magic of the Blublockers, other than their visual badassery, lies in literally blocking the color blue and making life a sunshine-y, spaghetti western. We also refer to them as the "Anti-Depression Regimen" as they are designed to "block the blues". (Har, har.) Really, individuals. I hope you don't plan on going through life much longer without them.

Just take this man's word for it:



Soooo, Ex (who was in New Mexico with me) and I were supposed to get our Blublockers when we discovered their myth and majesty out there, but the one time we were at the store to get them, there was a thunderstorm and the cash register went down and they wouldn't let us just leave the cash. A-holes!

Then, upon our return to LA, we learned that there has been some weird rush in Southern California on Blublockers and you can't find them ANYWHERE. Yes, it's been a hard few months as one pair of Blublockers has been passed around between me, Ex and Blondie for a good three months now and that's just no way to live. (For us or the glasses.)

And then, lo and behold, all that angst and struggle was turned into surprise and delight when I opened this Monday night. (And look at the clever birthday packaging, combining badass glasses with one of my badass pastimes. Home run, Ex!)



BLUBLOCKERS ARE MINE!!!!!!

And just how royally awesome do they look? Well, here is a picture of me from a few weeks ago in Blondie's Blublockers doing what I do best: Doling out the Grade A non-specific Bitch Gaze while drinking margaritas.




Blublockers are a lifestyle choice I encourage you all to make as soon as possible. For both staying positive and looking hot. The two go hand in hand.

Mixed Bag

Shitty birthday: Spending the day with an Ex who intentionally wants you to feel bitter and self-loathing, and then doesn't get you a present.

Awesome birthday: Same Ex leaves LA that afternoon to move to Europe NEVER TO RETURN.

So I cried and felt bitter and self-loathing and then I celebrated. Not many birthdays have that kind of closure.

Internet Birthday Party!!! LOL! OMG!!

Yesterday God surprised me with an early birthday present. I was having kind of a tough October 2nd morning, which October 2's are famous for, shuffling my feet and having a low-key internal pity party. And then, lo and behold, God sends me an email (via Renz-o) announcing me as an Official Sexy Person of the Internet. Ladies and Gents: I was October 2nd's Sexy Person.

If you haven't been to Renz-o's Sexy Person blog, you need to correct that immediately, as it will provide you with hours of laughs and adolescent familiarity and desire to have your own eighties or nineties misstep become today's SEXINESS. I was tipped off to its brill-ness by one Chris of Surviving Myself fame and I would like to think my ascension to October 2nd's throne was a team effort.

So as my birthday gift to you I will now share with you this photographic delight which I will simply call "Ever since I can remember I've been poppin' my collar AKA Me at 12 yrs old".

Rolled cuffs. All love.

It may take you a few viewings to take in all the genius styling elements that came together for this portrait.

And clearly I was destined for a lifetime of inappropriate dressing and Olympic level pouting. I was freaking twelve, people. How did my mom let me run around with such jailbait face all the time? I'm ashamed and delighted.

So thank you, boys, for both assisting in my continual, eternal goal to be Young, Hot and Free.

May we all be Young, Hot and Free 4evs.

Crazy like a daisy

I need to find this movie. Apparently it's a Czech film from the '60s about two girls running amok and I just have to see it. It's weird and beautiful and the art house version of my life. No joke. I have a life partner that I do everything with and we dress up and run amok and we are both of Eastern European descent. We are these girls in a parallel, stylized universe.

We don haus frau dresses and flirt with boys:



We wear bikinis and think in reds and pinks.



We share a bed and a home. And look awesome in it.



We know how to have a good time.



I pout and wear my hair in anime buns.



She pouts and wears flowers in her hair.



We both look gamine and disaffected as we contemplate life.



I am in love with this world. I am not complete until I see my 60's counterpart.

And here is our updated LA version via cameraphone. A more cheerful product, as a result of life far from the Eastern Bloc. Also we probably drink more margaritas and have better eye-wear.



So maybe someone can let me know how to find this visual confection as a birthday treat? My birthday is Friday. All I want is a cute boy I don't know to take me to Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. And to watch this movie with my current blondie doppelganger afterwards.

C'est tout.

(screengrabs courtesy of Agent Lover)