Badvertising

My agent said I would have a better chance of being a contestant on MILF Island if I recycled.

I risked bodily harm and a possible jay-standing violation to bring you this hard-hitting photojournalism. I stood in the middle of National Blvd just below the 10 freeway to capture this newest addition to the green marketing canon. Now most advertisements aren't known for being genius works of art, but at least try to make sense.

I was pulling onto the 10 east earlier in the week when I saw this smug stay-at-home informing me that she recycles. And her "reasons are her own". Initially I just felt a little put off by her defensive stance on recycling (like why would anything to do with recycling be a secret?), but immediately chalked it up to the fact that my whole life I get a little icky when people are quick to say things like, "That's none of YOUR business" or "That's for ME to know" or something equally presumptuous that you actually give a shit.

But then I realized that her story didn't even check out. Because correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there just, you know, ONE reason to recycle? Maybe I'm living in a limited world, but I didn't know one could have a litany of reasons to recycle. Like, my Bunco game is sooo much better when I recycle. Or, my husband doesn't beat me when I recycle. My little brain thought we had "saving the earth" and that's about it.

And also, why try and make recycling such a personal, private endeavor? Like I lovingly place each empty kombucha bottle in a blue bin and reflect with a serene smile on my own personal motivations for doing so. Get over yourself, bottlesandcans.com. We're trying to reduce waste in landfills and there aren't many other ways to approach it. That said, if you need a new copywriter, my services are available!